17 Comments
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Gordon (The Athlete Archives)'s avatar

Hilarious!

A year’s worth of mustard as a reward? What is that, like a 12 ounce bottle?

This is why I love your stuff. Nowhere else would I find gems like this.

How’s the book coming along?

Paul Jackson's avatar

I never thought about that--a year's worth of mustard for most people is probably about one bottle! The sauerkraut award would have been more substantial.

I have a whole manuscript and am about 75% through revision. Hoping to start sending it out in Q1 to see who's interested. Looking forward to talking about it with you on The Athlete Archives in the not-too-distant future.

Meg Lauber's avatar

Paul, sorry I’m a week behind in my reading! Didn’t know you were writing a book count me in! Will there also be a Kindle version?

Paul Jackson's avatar

I hope so. I'd love to see it on all formats. I'm hoping to finish it up this month and then I'll start trying to sell it. Once things are moving, I'm sure I'll talk about it here--you won't be able to miss it!

Jeff's avatar

Why didn’t they steal the Oscar Meyer-Mobile to make a getaway? Believe it or not they had an ad on TV looking for a full time driver I was considering applying to.

🎶 I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener 🎶🎼…

Paul Jackson's avatar

Licensing issue. Klement's would never have allowed the racing sausages inside the Wienermobile.

Baseball Buddha's avatar

What do we call you? FIB (Friendly Illinois Brethren) or ... Great article!

Paul Jackson's avatar

If that's a FIB I'm happy to be one. Wisconsin is a magical place.

Bill Southern's avatar

Classic tale, Paul. In Pittsburgh, there are costumed pierogis racing - I don’t know for sure, but I suspect Oliver Onion wins most of the time, I think if any of these mascots falls down, or is knocked down, the 5-second rule is applicable.

Paul Jackson's avatar

I enjoyed learning that the Brewers have "blessed" the pierogis by holding a few joint races every year. As far as I know that is the only such nod they have given. Imitation may be the best form of flattery, but not all imitation is flattering.

John Hegger's avatar

I loved it! Superb storytelling!!!!

Paul Jackson's avatar

I'm grateful for the feedback, John! Glad you had a good time with this one

Alex Khalifa's avatar

I remember Conan O'Brien discussing how Bratwurst "showed concern" for Italian Sausage before thinking: "Hey, I can win this!"

Paul Jackson's avatar

The same thing just happened in a Winter Olympics speed skating race. Front three racers went down, fourth place Australia gets the gold!

Jeff's avatar

There’s always another competition in 4 years

Meg Lauber's avatar

$858 to clean the sausage costumes, makes me wonder how that might be done. I imagine costumes of that sort are hot, and get a bit gamey! Loved this post!!

Paul Jackson's avatar

I'm thinking a little carpet cleaner-type operation, very delicate work. That costume had been through it. It spent time on the floor of a dive bar and on the ground in a Wisconsin parking lot in February. So much salt. It's amazing they were able to save it at all. It might just be my imagination, but I think in post 2013 shots the Italian Sausage looks a bit worse for wear than the others. Its had a hard life.